Monday, October 09, 2006

Cultural expectations

Grrr - first grumble from me. Why do people feel the need to force their beliefs and opinions on you without listening to you. I was just discussing with a colleague about caring for the elderly and in particular elderly people in your family - parents, grandparents etc. My colleague is Asian and she said people in "this country" (being the UK) don't care about their family or have the same family bonds because many English people opt to put their elderly relatives in an Old Peoples Home. What a load of crap, I mean, I love my family more than anything but love doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your life for someone else's. You may think that is a selfish viewpoint but what moral code tells us we must give up our lives completely for a family relative who needs 24 hour care. Take for example, my Granddad who is suffering from Alzheimer's. Should I, or one of my aunts or uncles give up their jobs, their friends and their family to take on the care for my Granddad, who needs 24 hour support. Or, should we choose to put him in a home where there are nurses, counsellors, and other people his age where he can get the help and support he needs for such an illness. Where my family and I can go to visit him without resentment and enjoy the time we spend with him.

I am not looking for validation of my thoughts, as I know everyone has different views on such matters but it really irks me when people think that their way of dealing with things is the right and only way to do it.


Melanie said...

I agree with you that every culture and family is different regarding elderly relatives.
Yes if it wasn't for our relatives we wouldn't be here. But, we also have obligations to ourselves. My husband and I both work, we have children and grandchilden. Our children are adults going to school so we help as much as possible with the grandkids. I would have loved to take care of my grandmother, but she wouldn't have been comfortable in our small hectic home, I couldn't afford to quit work nor did I have the knowledge or physical strength to take care of her. Adult Care Centers aren't the best place but in our situation it was the safest place with 24 hour care.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion but people should never judge someone until they walk in the other person's shoes.

Anonymous said...